Novelties can be fun, but what if there’s a leak?
By David Mantey, Editor, PD&D
I missed Halloween by a few days, but this topic wasn’t posed to my virtual roundtable until last night. This running debate has me pitted against three women determining the sexism and alcoholism associated with The WineRack, a “comfortable sports bra with polyurethane bladder holds 25 ounces of your favorite beverage.”
For some reason, I have a feeling that a woman isn’t going to purchase a $30 dollar bra that isn’t from Victoria’s Secret just so the dirty little whirlwind can sip on grape Kool-Aid during a college football game. I think it would be a bit more of a Jimmy Buffett/Margarita situation — just be sure to rinse that thing out two days later (leaving a day open for impending hangover recovery), week old margarita is quick to mold. I once had an incident with a smoothie machine, may it rest in peace.
Go ahead; laugh at my chances as I go up against the feminists, but the first response not from me? “I think this product is genius.”
This statement, of course, allowed me to kick open a door with the shining light of possibility on the other side, which was gleaming like mother of pearl.
I don’t find the product sexist at all or particularly alcoholic. Spend five minutes with a hearty search engine, and you’ll be able to fill up a faux beer belly and a pair of sandals with your drink of choice. After some time, you could have an entire exoskeleton of grain alcohol.
I don’t find it alcoholic because of the novelty. I hate to break it to my fellow debaters, but the career alcoholic isn’t going to drop $30 in tab and tip money on a bra with a hose. Given the level of professionalism, the person should be able to carry up to a liter in shorts and a T-shirt without anyone being the wiser – an estimation, not a memory.
While this particular product will not help any designer in his/her chances to nab a Nobel Prize, malls across the nation would be lacking without the token Spencer’s in the '90s. We also have to consider the fun uncle and the glee we would strip from him had such a gag gift never existed.
At the beginning of the less-than-lively (so far) debate, the question was asked, “Where do you draw the line between humor and alcoholism?” Some times, a line doesn’t need to be drawn – in this case, I think it’s a bit irrelevant anyway.
Let novelty exist with a grin; make your choice with your billfold. Of course, you may experience some jealousy when your new and improved solar cell is shelved, while the other guy buys a hundred acres soon to be named WineRack Ranch.
Something as simple and pointless as the WineRack can exist and probably support a family of bladder apparel enthusiasts. Now, let’s have a moment of silence for the young girl who has to explain to her friends why she doesn’t have a student loan to pay off.
“Want to head to the financial aid office with us? Loan checks came in today.”
“Nah, I’m good. I didn’t take a loan out this semester.”
“Why not?”
“You thirsty?”
Have you seen an equally ridiculous, bladder-infused product? Let me know at david.mantey@advantagemedia.com or comment below.